Sunday Evening Breakdown

I’ve been meaning to write something serious on this for the last two weeks, but I struggle each time I try…. Truthfully I don’t really know why, it’s not like I don’t know what I want to say, its more like where do I begin? Last night, I decided to pay a visit to my previous blog… One that I haven’t touched in almost two years. For those of you who are curious, I’m talking about goooood ol’ livejournal, the source of every high school teenagers news feed. I must admit, It was a very odd feeling to retrace the steps of my younger years and to read back about someone who I used to be. The feeling is really unexplainable, it’s almost like I was reading about a totally different person. I started from the very first post, which was written by an old friend, Kadie Corr on May 27, 2004, which read,

“here you go jack.
your new livejournal thing.”

I must thank her for signing me up for the account, because it gave me a place where I could develop and express my thoughts, feelings, ideas, creativity, etc. I realized at a young age that writing is probably one of the best medicines out there. I thought to myself, if I were going through a rough time, the best thing I could do – is to write it out. It would allow me to really map out the entire situation and look at things from a different perspective. You see, if you put something down on paper, you could go over it and thoroughly analyze what you have written until you stop to only question if you REALLY think that way. Writing has helped me develop a way of thinking where I have the ability to hold two opposing ideas in my mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

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I haven’t written anything as serious on this blog that is even close to the livejournal days, but let this be the first. I mainly blame the lack of time that I have to sit in front of my computer and type something out… Time is simply the unbeatable factor in our lives, which is exactly what I want to talk about. As I looked back at a younger version of me, I was shocked at the amount of time I wasted where I could have been doing something much more useful and productive. What I’m saying is that, I could have made wiser decisions at one point or another. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that every single second of my past has shaped who and what I am today, which I am totally grateful for. I am confident enough to say that I am an open minded, free-spirited individual with no regrets who has a strong sense of direction for where I am going tomorrow.

“Sometimes you’re flush and sometimes you’re bust, and when you’re up, it’s never as good as it seems, and when you’re down, you never think you’ll be up again, but life goes on.” – Blow

At this day and age, time is something that I highly value. But, what kills me is seeing individuals who are mature, in fact, even older than I am who are casually wasting their time with things that have no purpose or meaning to it. I really am thankful that at 21 I have come to an understanding of this, because I wouldn’t want to be like some of the people who come to mind…  This is the way I see it. We simply have 24 hours in a day, which we can break down into 3 equal 8 hour parts:

1) 8 hours of sleep
2) 8 hours of work
3) 8 hours of free time

*Depending on your day job, you either lose or gain an 8 hour period for productivity.

Unfortunately, I have a job which requires me to be doing something other than what I ultimately want to do in life, which leaves me losing that 8, whereas in a years time, I aim to gain that. On average, out of the 8 hours left, I take 15 min going to and from work and 30 min for dinner, leaving me with 7 hours. These 7 hours are very crucial and usually reflect the time in my day where I can either be extremely productive or extremely useless. I usually fill that time up with meeting people to plan for projects, designing, creating music, and so on. I realize when I dedicate myself to being organized, then I am effectively productive as opposed to when I’m not, I can go on for days doing nothing.

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As much as I have changed, qualities that are still the same about me six years later, which I admired seeing in my writing, is the fact that I am ambitious and highly determined. You see the entire point of this began with nothing not knowing where to start, now I don’t know where to end. I really just want to encourage you by saying, if you have taken this time to read this entire post, then do something different. Seriously, consume your free time by  using your gifts and talents to learn, grow and build a life around you which you are content with. Don’t be stagnant, define who and what you are.

“Time is definitely of the essence.”

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